Do you want to be here?
Dealing with performance problems is the least enjoyable part of product leadership. Shifting from a parent-child approach to an adult-adult approach can change how this feels for everyone.
This is the play that inspired me to write this playbook. Dealing with performance problems is the least enjoyable part of product leadership for me, and for years I felt the only options were endless coaching or firing. I learned this play from my first coach, Sophia Kristjansson. Shifting from a parent-child approach to an adult-adult approach changed my leadership style substantially.
Context
A PM is burned out, combative, and neglecting the basics of their role. You have been giving steady feedback for some time and are and seeing no improvement.
Discussion
Product Management is an emotionally draining job. PMs can feel like they're fighting against the whole organization to make a decent product and protect the team. This happens especially when a PMs expectations, vision, or roadmap don't match the organization's burning needs.
In Kim Scott's book Radical Candor, we learn that many managers struggle to give useful feedback. Either they challenge directly without caring, or they focus on being supportive without giving direct enough feedback. The latter is called 'Ruinous Empathy' and it's the quadrant I sometimes find myself.
Sometimes you just need to be completely direct.
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Play
In a 1:1 setting, invite the PM to decide whether they will solve the problem. Do it with firmness and empathy.
The conversation might take this form: